


Cross my Heart: Part Two

by tenaciousk



Series: Cross my Heart [2]
Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Dad Joel, Dirty Talk, Eventual Smut, Eventual violence, F/M, Romance, Sexy Joel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-03 23:28:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12156978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenaciousk/pseuds/tenaciousk
Summary: We pick up around six months after Joel and Ellie leave Tommy's Dam. Kira is pregnant, and she anxiously awaits for her sister and the man she has completely fallen for. If you haven't read the first part, you need to go read it now.





	1. Back to December

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the first part of Cross my Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter consists of helping understand a little bit more of what Kira went through before Joel returned. Enjoy!

December - Kira

He was so handsome. The gold flecks in his hazels eyes glistened in the evening sun. He stared straight ahead as I watched him out of the corner of my eye. His hair had more salt than pepper when the sun shone on it, and it was still sexy as ever. He clasped my hand with his callused one, but I didn’t mind the feel of this his thumb running over my skin. I was happy he was there with me. I dared taking a look at him as I turned my head fully to see him. The edges of his mouth turned up in his rare smile as he peeked down at me.

“What?” His gruff southern accent melted my heart as he spoke.

“Nothing.” I replied in the cliché way.

He huffed a soft grumble and looked back across the lake as we stood hand in hand on the shore. 

“You’re supposed to ask me again, ‘What.” I mimicked his accent on that last word.  
He turned to face me. “What then?” His eyes crinkled at the corners. 

“I’m glad you are home.” I kissed his cheek.  
“Me too darlin'.”

Then I heard thunder shutter around us. I glanced at the rapidly greying sky, and then back at Joel. He was gone. He vanished into thin air. I then heard a scream coming from the woods. I ran in that direction. I hit a few low hanging tree branches, and my cheek had been slashed. I made it to a clearing, and saw there were three bodies lying bloodied and torn apart. I sprinted and kneeled down by the first and saw the half of Tommy’s face that wasn’t ripped apart. His lifeless eyes staring up at me coldly. I followed his arm to his hand grasping a pale one. I knew that it was Maria even though her face was nothing but a gory mess. I cried out, and knew in my gut it was going to be worse to look at the third body. I crawled over the blood soaked ground to the small thin body. Her hands were freezing, and her red-brown hair stuck to her snowy white face. I held her in my arms cursing at the sky. I looked down at her, and her eyes shot open.

“Ellie!” I screamed in surprise.  
She coughed and blood spurted out. 

“I’m here. I’ve got you.” I whispered as tears ran from my face and washed the drying blood from her cheeks. 

“He’s hurt.” She gushed.  
“Who? Who’s hurt?” I held her tiny body.

“He needs me…I need… to.” Her body shook as her cough continued to tremble throughout her body. One second she was in my arms, and the next, she was gone with a flash of white light.

I stood in a dark room, but my eyes adjusted and I saw snow falling outside the small window. I took a step toward the window, but I couldn’t see anything. I heard a moan behind me, and I quickly turned on my heel. 

I looked down, and Joel was curled up under a blanket. He groaned as I saw him clutching his side.  
“Help him.” Ellie’s voice sounded in the darkness. 

I walked over to Joel, and placed a hand on his over the blanket. I lifted the thin material, and pulled his shirt up. The blood soaked material stuck to his skin on his stomach, and he let out a small sharp cry.  
“I know, big guy. I know.” 

I looked down at the large wound in his side, and gasped. His abdomen was swollen and tender. His makeshift stitch had been done in a hurry, and it wasn’t healing correctly. But whatever had happened must have sent him in a septic state. He wouldn’t survive without medical treatment, and that was nowhere to be found in this world.  
“Don’t worry. I’m here. I love you. I love you. I need you. We need you.” I whispered, and then I saw a man standing in the doorway. His face covered partially by his winter coat. I looked up at him  
“Help him. Please.” I begged. 

His evil eyes consumed me, and I didn’t notice the shotgun he pointed at me until I heard the shot fire.

I sat upright in bed, an earsplitting scream came out of my mouth. My body shook as I cried out in anger. I was curled up in a ball when Tommy and Maria burst into my room. Maria sat on the bed, and grabbed me pulling me into her arms. My body racked as I sobbed into her chest. 

“Tommy, go get some water and a wet rag.” Maria ordered in her usual commanding tone. She petted my back, and shushed me. Tommy came back to the room handing me the water and Maria the rag. I took a long swig, and steadied my breathing. Maria patted my faced with the washcloth cooling my red cheeks.

“Another nightmare?” Tommy knelt by my bed. All I could do was nod. 

“This was the worst one yet?” He put a brotherly hand on my knee. I nodded again remembering Joel’s beautiful face twisted in pain.

“It was just a dream sweetie.” Maria placed a cold hand on my face. I nodded, but then the tears started flowing over the rim of my eyes again.

“It was so real this time.” I hiccupped. 

I told them vivid dream through nasally sobs. By the end, my body was physically worn out, as well as my brain. Tommy, stoic as ever, held my hand and told me that his brother was okay, and that he was strong. Maria looked at him with cautious eyes, almost a silent warning. I asked if Maria would stay with me the rest of the night, and she agreed. 

I woke up with a jolt, and my stomach twisted so hard that I knew I was going to throw up. I ran out my door, and was hit with the disgusting smell of bacon cooking. I heard Tommy say something from my kitchen, but I was too distracted by the overwhelming smell and pain in my stomach. I almost threw up in the hall, but luckily made it to the toilet. I heaved up what little I had in my stomach before I got up from the cool tiled floor and washed my mouth out in the sink. I finally went back into the hallway, and stood there trying to not gag at the smell. 

“Tommy, is that bacon bad?” I uttered as I opened a kitchen window letting the freezing air take the smell away. 

“No. They cut it yesterday.” He made a concerned face. I made a face which told him that something was not right.

“Want me to cook something else?” He said as he placed the bacon on a plate.  
I nodded. “I’m sorry. It makes my stomach sick.” 

“You love bacon. What gives?” Tommy said. He seemed a little hurt. I shrugged, and went to the cabinet to pull out some canned peaches. I opened them, and ate them with my fingers because I was ravenous. 

“Slow down, cowgirl. You’ll get a stomach ache.” He laughed.  
I glared at him.

“Don’t be too hard on her Tommy.” Maria swatted his butt as she walked into the kitchen and sat next to him at the table. She took a swig of his coffee, a treat they had found on the last scavenging trip, and kissed his cheek which was full of bacon and eggs.

“You were in a hurry to get to the bathroom this morning. Must have had to pee real badly, huh?” Tommy joked.  
I pushed the last sweet peach into my mouth, and chewed thoughtfully before speaking to him.

“That nasty smell of bacon woke me up. It was so potent I almost threw up in the hall.” I said harsher than what I meant to. 

“Geez! I don’t think the saying goes ‘hate the cook’. I think it say kiss.” He chuckled.  
Maria looked at me with her probing gaze. Looked me up and down, and then placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. 

“She had a rough night, love. Give her a break.”

“Okay… So after breakfast I have to go to the plant and discuss plans with the Jim. Carla asked if you would go to the greenhouse and look at the plants.” Tommy directed to Maria. 

“Kira? Want to tag along?” Maria said, but her look told me that she didn’t want me to be alone. 

The week after Joel and Ellie had left, I had become depressed, and couldn’t focus on anything. My heart ached, and I cried every night. A month passed, and I would be fine one second and angry or sad the next. The past two weeks I had begun to have horrible nightmares and extremely vivid dreams. I was all alone in my cabin, and it felt so empty after having Joel and Ellie leave. I asked if Maria and Tommy could stay with me. I didn’t tell her the real reason I needed her here. I gave the excuse that I was missing having company. Maria, with all her hard edges, came to my rescue. She had always been a good friend, and didn’t press the issue, but I knew that she knew I wasn’t alright.  
I told Maria that I would walk with her once I put on some warm clothes. We headed out after I packed my backpack with lunch for the two of us and a clip for my pistol.  
Tommy had left before us, and that gave Maria and me some time together. She had never been much of a talker, but I didn’t mind, seeing as we both didn’t have much to say. 

Snow crunched beneath our feet as we walked. My toboggan kept my ears warm, but my nose was raw and pink by the time we made to the greenhouse.  
I walked around and examined the plants while Maria talked to the sweet and elderly Carla. Everything was looking healthy, especially since we were worried about the winter and the effects it would have on our plants. When I joined the two women, Carla grabbed my hand, and gave it a squeeze.

“I haven’t seen you in a while dear. How have you been?” The little woman looked up at me. Her pale blue eyes sparkling up at me, and her rosy cheeks made her face so much friendlier. But this tiny senior was one tough bag of nails. Everyone knew to never cross her. We had heard stories of her heroic conquests the weeks that followed the outbreak, and I admired her for what she had done.

“I’ve been busy with wall duty.” I said nonchalantly.  
“Come you two,” she ordered. “I’ll make some tea and we can catch up.”

I looked at Maria, and shrugged as the little old woman dragged us from the greenhouse to her tiny house across the street.  
We sat and chatted and drank our tea. Once we were finished, I knew what was coming. Carla grabbed my hand, and traced the lines in it. Her nickname around the town was Clairvoyant Carla for a reason.

“Interesting.” She muttered.  
She tugged my hand closer to her face, and she examined the lines more intently. Her brow furrowed as she hummed and cooed.

“What is it, Carla?” I asked, mainly to entertain her. 

“Let me see your cup.” She dropped my hand and took the cup before I could refuse.

I giggled at Maria rolling her eyes. I looked my hand and tried to see what Carla saw in the broken lines on my hand.  
“Oh praise!” Carla shouted taking me out of my distracted trance.

“Carla! Don’t scare my like that.” I said partially joking.

“I knew your aura was different. Much brighter.” She looked at me, but her eyes were searching.

“What?” I asked confused.

“You look so bright. Given that you have been depressed that past two months.” Carla stood up and went to a pantry and opened the doors. She started pulling out boxes, and jars. She was muttering things that didn’t make sense.

She finally pulled out a jar with something that looked like roots. She went over to the kettle and started to brew more water. I looked at Maria, and she shrugged. Maria was never too fond of the peculiar Carla, but she didn’t distrust the woman.  
With Carla bustling around the kitchen and muttering to herself, I began to get a headache. She poured more tea into my cup, and I tried to refuse, but she insisted as she put a root into my cup.

“Drink. It will help the headache.” She ordered.

“How did you know?” I asked, but she just glared at me until I drank the tea.

“How far along are you?” she asked.

I almost chocked on the tea. “Excuse me?” I coughed  
“How long have you been pregnant?” She gave me a look as though to say ‘don’t be daft.’ 

“I’m not.” I sputtered.

“That’s a lie. You’re hand and your tea leaves said so. The leaves don’t lie.” Her stare tightened.

Maria looked at me with almost angry eyes. “Who is the guy?”

“What?” I sat the cup down looking between the two women.

“When was your last period?” Carla persisted.

“Ugh… I’m not sure. They are irregular at times.” I said telling these two more personal information than I would have liked to. 

“Have you been throwing up?” Carla asked.

“This morning, but it was because the bacon that Tommy was cooking was bad, but he didn’t believe me.”

“She’s been having weird dreams.” Maria piped in.

“Maria.” I warned. This wasn’t the time or the place to discuss something that wasn’t possible. 

“Hmm. Mood swings?” Carla interrogated.

“Ugh. I don’t think so.”

“Yes.” Maria chirped.

I shot another look at her telling her to shut up.

“Child. Look at me.” Carla grabbed my cheeks between her hands. I stared at her.

“Have you had sexual relations with anyone in the past two months?”

My cheeks burned, giving away the answer. I hadn’t even told Maria that I had slept with anyone, let alone told her that I had fallen for somebody.

“Who?” Maria’s blue gaze burned a hole through me.

“I…” I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell her that I had slept with her brother-in-law. 

“Tell me.”

“Joel.” I said quietly. 

“Really?” She sounded surprised, not angry.

“Yes. Who else do you think I would have slept with?” I threw my hands in the air.

“I don’t know. You’ve never shown interest in anybody. That’s what gets me.” Her blue eyes remained wide. 

I sighed. I was so confused and didn’t know what to tell the two women in front of me. I just told them I had slept with somebody, well, not just anybody, but somebody. Now they were telling me I was pregnant!

“I just. It didn’t really happen all at once. I just… I don’t know.” The tears started streaming down my face. I couldn’t tell if it was the pregnancy hormones or me actually crying. 

Maria just sat and stared at me with her pondering eyes. Ever since I knew her, she was an analytical leader. Never saying or doing anything without taking a moment to clear her mind and think only about the situation at hand.

“So you slept with Joel.” She said it softly, and almost question like, but I knew she was processing everything.  
I nodded, not daring to look up at her, instead I rubbed a circle in the palm of my hand with the opposite thumb. 

“And you slept with him when exactly?”

“The last night he and Ellie were here. In October.” I said in a small voice. Still not looking at either of the women at the table  
Carla ran a hand over my back to sooth the tension I was holding in. 

“Did you…I mean, I don’t want to sound insensitive…” Maria started.

I looked at her through wet eyes, and she must have seen that I wanted her to proceed with the question.

“Did he force you?” Maria asked coldly. Her icy stare was not intended at me, but rather the image she was creating for Joel.

“No! No,” I stopped her thoughts. “I want… I mean we wanted to. He didn’t mean to… well you know… inside me, but it wasn’t against my will. We were caught up in the moment. I don’t even think he realized what happened.” I said in a rush. 

Maria and Carla sat facing me. Maria was still trying to figure out how to process the fact that I had slept with Joel. Carla looked at me as though I was the Virgin Mary. If I could look at myself I would have the look that said, “Why were you so stupid, Kira?”  
After what seemed like an eternity, Maria grabbed my hand and held it firmly.

“If you need anything, I am here for you. You won’t be alone in this.”

More tears welled up in my eyes and my heart swelled with bliss. Carla said something to the same effect, and after a few more minutes of discussing the situation Maria and I went back to my cabin. There I started making stew for dinner, and Maria told me everything she knew about pregnancy.

“If I had a baby myself, I could help you better.” She said softly staring out the kitchen window towards the mountains.  
Tommy and she had been trying for a child for many years, but they had given up hope after never even conceiving. Maria didn’t come off as the nurturing type, but she really was amazing with children. They would follow her to the ends of the earth if they could. 

“You know so much more than I do,” I added quickly. “You are going to be the most wonderful aunt this child could ask for.” I said patting my stomach. 

Her smile returned, and soon enough, so did Tommy. We sat down for dinner and talked about our day and discussed options for the dam and food supply. We had planned for a nasty winter, and we knew a blizzard was going to hit any day now, but we were hopeful it wouldn’t last too long.  
Maria went to take a shower, and I watched Tommy strum the guitar. I knew I needed to tell him he was going to be an uncle.

“Tommy.” 

He looked at me with his sweet eyes. “Yeah?”

“I want to tell you something.”

“Maria already told me.” His face fell. 

The heat rushed to mine. How could she tell him? I hadn’t even left them alone. “She did?”

“Yeah. I can’t say I’m surprised.” He shrugged nonchalantly. What the hell did that mean?

“What?” My voice sounding tight.

He set the guitar aside. “Look, I know I’m not the greatest, but it don’t mean you have to literally get sick.”

Now I was completely muddled now. “What are you talking about?”

“The bacon this morning. I didn’t think you would throw up.” His eyes tightened, and he was reading me in his usual Tommy way. Puppy dog eyes with a hit of sly fox.

“Oh.” That was all I could say.

“What are you talking about?” He quickly grasped that we weren’t going to be talking about the same thing.

“Well, it sort of deals with the bacon incident.” I said slowly.

“Uh-hmm.”

“Well, there was a reason I was sick.”

“Go on.”

“Tommy, I’m pregnant.” I blurted the words out knowing that there was no easy way to say it.

He face changed so many emotions within a matter of seconds. He was confused, worried, upset, then confused again, and then happy. Utterly happy.  
“What? That’s awesome, Kira!” He started blubbering and questions flowed together, “Why didn’t you say anything this morning? When did you find out? How do you know? How far  
along are you? Who is the dad?”

“Er. Well, I didn’t know until today. Carla and Maria were the ones to figure it out. I’m about two months along. I umm…” I said rubbing my thumb into the palm of my hand.

“Holy shit! I’m going to be an uncle, well figuratively,” Not figuratively, I thought. “I can’t believe that Miss Kira is pregnant.” 

“Well.” I chuckled, but it came out sadder.

“So, who is the dad?” He threw an arm over my shoulder.  
“Is it Pete? I’ve seen him looking at you.” He winked.

“No.”

“Maverick? Clyde? James?”

“No. No and no.”

“Then who could it be?” He knew there weren’t many other single young men in our town, and I could tell he was trying really hard to figure out this mystery.  
“Just tell me?” He said exasperated. 

“Joel.” My voice was barely audible, but his smile faded at the name.

“Joel?” His voice was harsh and menacing and low.

I knew that this had been a bad idea. I knew that this moment was going to change everything.  
When Tommy finally spoke again, it was the most sincere thing I had ever heard him say.

“Congrats, but I’m going to kill that motherfucker next time I see him.”

***

December- Joel

 

When they say life flashes before your eyes, they mean that what you think life is worth living for flashes before your eyes.  
I expected to see my darling Sarah. I lived because I had always hoped she would have. But instead I found two faces staring at me the moment I started falling from that second story balcony. Two sets of green eyes stared at me. Ellie smiled at me almost like she was about to laugh, and beside her, Kira. My beautiful Kira. These two women were what I wanted to live for. I wanted to live for Ellie because she deserved to have a father. She needed somebody to care for her. I wanted to live to see Kira because I loved her. How the hell I knew I loved her after two days beats me. 

“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!” that motherfucking bar just so happened to be in the right place. 

Everything went black and the only hope of survival was the young girl I had been protecting for the past few months. A fucking bar would be my ending. That was the damndest way to go.  
Once I got on the horse, I don’t remember anything except black, and pain.  
***  
It’s constant pain. I could feel my insides burning and screaming, but I was too weak to sound that pain. I could hear Ellie talking to herself. Or was she talking to me? I couldn’t focus long enough before the black would settle over me again.  
***  
There she was walking in a field. Her long dark hair blowing in the soft breeze. Kira. A blush came across her face as she giggled. She walked toward me, and when she reached me she just stood there, not touching me, but just smiling up at me. Somehow I could always smell that sweet honey scent that seemed to follow her. I craved to kiss her. To touch her. Hell, to even see her in real life. I knew that it was going to happen, and I should just let the darkness take over. 

“Don’t worry. I’m here. I love you. I love you. I need you. We need you.” Her voice was like velvet.

“I love…” Then the pain was back and Kira was gone. I wanted to cry out every curse word in the book, but the pain held steady, then it was more like a low annoying buzz, and coldness seeped through.

“All done. That’s it.” I heard Ellie’s voice drift into the darkness.


	2. Dancing in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira sees Joel and Ellie for the first time in six months, and Joel sees the shocking consequences of what occurred months ago.

April- Kira  
I waddle towards the barn to feed the horses and do a few chores there. I have to take so many pee breaks and rests that it’s the only place with a slow enough pace where I can be useful. Maria and Tommy moved back into their house a month ago, but they always eat meals with me, and one or both will walk with me to work. Tommy always says that he could carry me over his shoulder faster than I could waddle if anything happened. It’s funny how he has taken the role of protector when it comes to me and the baby. Maria is even worse though. She is always making me eat right and making me sit and do nothing. I hate being with her at times because of her overbearing ways, but I’ve gotten used to it. I had started changing little things in my life. 

It started with my cabin when I found some baby blue paint to use in the kitchen. Ironic, I know. Then I rearranged the furniture. Out of the blue one day I chopped my hair into a bob. It was easier to manage and I was tired of my long hair getting stuck to my sweaty neck. Plus, I knew that once the baby came it was going to be easier to manage short hair and a cleaner house. My mind drifted back to now as I stepped closer to the barn. I waddle to my favorite cream colored horse, Trigger.  
“Hey boy.” I say as he nuzzles my hand. I pull out an apple, and he eats it in two bites. I giggle. Ellie loved feeding this horse. In fact, she loved all the animals. I sighed missing that little squirt. I hoped that they were okay. That she was safe, and that she would still be the same old Ellie. 

“How’s the baby today?” Carla’s voice sounded behind me, and I turned slowly.

“Good. It’s going to be a good day.” I say rubbing the bulge.

“How can you tell?” Carla inquired. 

I smile and go to the brushes and pick up Tigger’s favorite. 

“The baby isn’t moving like crazy, but just enough to put this worried mom to rest. I’m not really sure what else constitutes it being a good day, it just is.” I smile broadly.

“Well if your feet start to swell let me know. I have some lavender we can crush for the oils.” 

 

“Thank you, Carla. I really appreciate that.” I say and I get back to working on Trigger.

“Also. You look big. Are you sure you are a month further along than you should be?” She studies my engorged belly.  
I run a hand over the rather large bump. “No. I just think I have a big baby. I think it’s going to take after Joel.” I smile, and think of his broad shoulders. Carla smiles, and walks away.

I work until a little after twelve and sit for the thousandth time today. I rub my swollen ankles and sit with my legs spread open. I hum a little ditty and feel the baby flutter inside. 

“You like when I sing? Okay.” I use my pointer finger to make patterns on the bulge, and then sing ‘You are my Sunshine.’

 

“That’s my favorite song.” I hear a voice say a few feet away and my eyes shoot open.

“Ellie.” I breathe out. She looks taller, and a little skinnier, but it’s mainly because she shot up like a rocket since I’d seen her last. Her hair is longer too. I pushed my huge self off of the bench where I had been resting. I couldn’t tell if I was imagining this young woman standing in front of me or if she was truly my little sister.

“Well, you got…pregnant.” She laughed. 

I waddled as quickly toward her as I could. She had to walk most of the distance because I was so slow. I hugged her. I couldn’t rest my cheek on top of her head anymore, she was definitely taller. I wanted to grasp her tightly, and then the baby kicked hard.

“Woah Nelly! That kid’s going to be a fighter.” She laughed. I didn’t know what to say. I was too emotional, and had too many things to ask. 

“Who’s the father?” Her eyes lit up. 

“Um… Joel.” My stomach feels weighed down with lead and not just a baby.

“Explains that hell of a kick!” We both laugh hard, and then I look up. 

I hadn’t even thought about Joel being there when I saw Ellie, I was too shocked to see her even. But there he was. His tall frame and his peppered hair. He looked older. A little more tired. But he still looked devilishly handsome. I feel tears come to my eyes. Oh gosh! What if he doesn’t want me or the baby? What if he leaves us again? Could I handle that? 

My mind races. He comes closer. He looks at me with a soft and sweet expression. Okay. Maybe he is okay with being a father again. Ellie stands between us, and says something snarky to Joel, punches his arm, and walks toward Tommy.  
That’s when his eyes go to my belly. My face feels too warm, and my heart jumps erratically. Oh no! He’s just now noticing. His smile falters, and his jaw tightens and his mouth sets in a hard line.

“Please say something?” My voice shakes a little, but I try to remain strong.

“I… Is it mine?” His voice sends tremors to a place deep inside me. 

“Yes.” 

“Huh.” 

“Cross my heart.” Maybe he thought I was lying.  
His beautiful hazel eyes look between mine and my belly. It seems like eternity before he does anything. His hands find their way to the bump, and they smooth over the material covering it. 

“God. You’re beautiful.” He says and I want to kiss him, but I need to touch him to make sure he is really there. If I don’t touch him I’m sure to float away.

“I love you too.” His caramel voice soothes all of my fears. 

A tear escapes and slides down my cheek, and I know it isn’t the baby hormones making me cry. His thumb catches the tear before it falls. 

“Don’t cry, baby.” Then his lips find mine and we share a passionate kiss. Then feather-like kisses cover my face, and he repeats “I love you.”

 

April- Kira

There were so many questions between the two of us, but of course we needed to be alone. However, I needed both Joel and Ellie right now. Tommy and Maria needed Joel too. So in honor of their safe return, a banquet of sorts was schedule for that evening. Plus it coincided with the annual spring celebration feast. This year was especially celebrated because of the horrible winter we had been through. Ellie grabbed ahold of my hand and smiled up at me, not that she had to tilt her head back extremely far. Tommy and Joel had an arm around each other as we walked to my cabin. I was so glad to see that Tommy wasn’t going to make good on his promise to kill his brother when he returned.  
We stepped inside the cozy cottage, but my living room seemed small with all of the underlying tension we faced. Ellie was jabbering about some of the adventure she and Joel faced. 

“Oh man! You should have seen this college campus! There were monkeys jumping all over the place!” She then sucked in a breath and then began laughing, “Joel was walking through a room and about shit his pants because one had gotten into the building we were searching and scared him half to death!” Her laughter was contagious, and soon I was joking with her. “I’m sure his heart about gave out when that happened.” 

“Do we need to fit you for adult diapers, big brother?” Tommy chimed in.

“Shut the hell up. I wasn’t scared shitless. I was shocked is all.” Joel placed his hands on his hips and defended himself. 

“I thought you were always so stoic, and nothing scared you.” Ellie began, “But I almost peed myself when I got a look at your face. That poor monkey would have been dead if that window wasn’t broken, and he didn’t escape.” 

“Well, at least if you pick on him he can’t hear you.” I say giggling.

“Huh? Wha’d ya say?” Joel cupped his ear feigning deaf.  
I started dying of a fit of laughter, and then my bladder reminded me that it had been twenty minutes since I peed and a baby was pressing into it, and if I kept it up, I would be the one made fun of.

I seized my laughter and splayed a hand over my belly and began to waddle as fast as I could toward the bathroom. Taking shallow and quick breaths.

“Ugh oh! The fat lady had to pee. Better watch it Tommy, she might be able to power this whole town for a week with that bladder of hers.” Ellie’s snarky voice came from behind me, and I knew if I didn’t hold in my laugh she would be proven right.  
My breath started coming out in short puffs in attempt not to laugh. Then a firm hand grabbed my elbow.  
I looked up to see those sweet hazel eyes looking at me with concern.

“Come on little lady. You can make it to the bathroom.” He gently encouraged me. If I wasn’t needing to pee so badly, I would have kissed him right there.

I was almost to the bathroom when I heard Tommy yell out, “Open the flood gates!” 

I sucked in more air, but made it in time to relive myself. I even got in a little laugh.  
I washed my hands, and Joel was standing right outside the door with his arms folded. 

“Serves you right for makin’ fun of my age, little lady.” His smirk made me melt. I wanted to kiss him so bad then and there, but knew that would lead to something else, and we had company.

“It’s your fault in the first place that I’m in this predicament.” I say as I point to my stomach and smile, but Joel’s smile fades and the look in his eyes are replaced by something else. I’d have to coax that out of him later.

 

Later that evening, after Ellie and Joel showered and put fresh clothes on we made our way to the celebration. Joel’s regular stoic face was back in place, and Ellie kept telling me about all the animals she had seen, and a few adventures, but she was holding back. She would come close to saying something, but then stopped herself and spoke of something else entirely.

Dinner was amazing, my appetite was large, but I blamed the baby for the many helpings I ingested. We sat around the large fire pit and talked, and soon a guitar was being passed around and people were singing, and clapping. It made its way to me, but my belly was too large for me to play comfortably, and I just passed it to Joel who sat to my left. He gave me a confused look and I just nodded at him.

He held the instrument gingerly, as if he was seeing one for the first time ever. I took one of my hands that was splayed on my belly and set it on his shoulder. He smiled at me, and then he started strumming. The sweet slow melody filled the air and every eye was on the man next to me. 

“Dancing in the dark  
Middle of the night  
Taking your heart  
And holding it tight  
Emotional touch  
Touching my skin  
And askin' you to do  
What you've been doing  
All over again”

I remembered the old country song, and I started to harmonize with him. He looked up at me and the smile on his face melted my heart. As we sang, it felt as though we were the only two in the world. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. His sweet eyes enraptured me. His lips gave me chills because I knew the power they possessed.   
We finished the song and the clapping and hollering made the both of us come back to reality. The crowd yelled encore, so we sang another song. We finished that one, and Joel handed the guitar to Tommy who sang an old song about a guy who had dated women that were all from Texas. Joel grabbed ahold of my hand, and gave it a squeeze. I scooted closer to him. 

I rested my head on his shoulder. I then felt a bony finger poke my shoulder, and I turned to see Ellie signaling for me to make room so she could sit next to me on the bench. Joel made enough room, but I felt like I was a hippo sitting between the two of them, but it was nice to be with two of the people that I loved most.

“Have you thought of names for the baby?” Ellie smiled widely.

“Um. Kind of.” I said. I really hadn’t thought about it lately, I was hoping that Joel would come back to me and I could discuss names with him. Lucky for me he came back, but I didn’t have any idea of what he would want. Joel looked down at me, and kissed the top of my chestnut hair.

“What’re ya thinkin’, darlin’?” one corner of his mouth twitched upward. 

“Well, I thought of some girl names…”

“You think it’s a girl?” His brow furrowed. Of course, with no technology to say for sure, I really didn’t know the gender of the baby.

“Well I don’t really know of any good boy names.”

“Well! What are the girl names?” the ever patient Ellie fidgeted in her seat with anticipation. 

“I like the name Jamison Grace a lot.” I smiled and Ellie stuck her tongue out. 

“Yuck! Grace is like an old person’s name.” She shook her head.

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I like Hannah.” I said with a bigger grin, but when Joel shifted in his seat, I looked at him with concern.

“No.” 

“Why?” I pressed. His eyes darkened. 

“That was my ex wife’s name.” He shook his head.

I had forgotten that he was married before the outbreak. Tommy never told me what his exs’ name was, but he did tell me what she had done to Joel. Apparently they were a summer fling in high school, and one night Joel didn’t pull out in time. Tommy had told me about this when he found out I was pregnant, and joked that that’s what happened to me. Hannah gave birth to Sarah, but two years later she got bored of being “stuck” in her hometown, and one night up and left to go to New York. A few months later she sent Joel divorce papers. She didn’t want custody of Sarah because she hadn’t even wanted to keep her during pregnancy, but Joel begged her not to have an abortion.   
I put my hand Joel’s knee, and gave him my most sincere and warmest smile.

“No to Hannah.” I said. His whole body relaxed, “What do you think Ellie?”

“I was thinking something cute. Like…Mia.” 

I shook my head and stuck my tongue out, “I knew a Mia. She was a jerk.”

Ellie kept asking about names, and I would find something wrong with one or Joel would huff, and I knew that meant he didn’t like them. I hated knowing that we couldn’t come up with one good girl name. What was going to happen when it came to a boy?

“How ‘bout Olivia? And we could call her Liv or Livy?” Joel made his only suggestion so far. 

My head spun around, and my eyes went wide, “I like that!” 

Ellie agreed as well, and she hopped in her seat. 

“Olivia. Very pretty. Where did you get that?” I asked.

Joel’s thumb trailed my palm, “It was my mom’s name.” 

“What was your dad’s name?” I smiled.

His eyes shot to mine, “Levi.” 

I giggled. “Perfect. Liv or Levi. I think we are good to go.”   
The celebration was still going strong, but I was worn out from a long day, and I wanted to get back to the cabin before I was too tired to even get up from the bench. I started to rise, and Joel helped. Tommy and Maria headed straight toward me.

“Everything okay?” Maria looked ready to pick me up and carry me if need be.

“Yeah, I’m just pooped.”

“Awe! It’s just getting started.” Ellie said. 

“We better get you back to the house.” Joel’s hand rested on the small of my back.

“Ellie, you can stay with us tonight if you want to stay.” Tommy inserted. 

“Yeah!” And she was gone. 

I looked at Joel, and he shrugged. 

“You two go. You have a lot of catching up to do.” Maria winked.  
I laughed, but Joel seemed annoyed. He doesn’t seem like the kind for PDA.

“Goodnight you guys.” I say and hug both Maria and Tommy.

Joel did the same, but Tommy whispered something in his ear, and Joel smiled broadly and they exchanged a few more parting words. Then, we turned and made our way to the cabin.

We held hands the whole way, and Joel held the flashlight out in front of me so that I could see what was coming beyond my growing belly.

“What did Tommy say to you back there?” I wanted to look at him, but I needed to focus on the ground in front of me. 

“Nothin’.” He chuckled.

“Liar.” I nudged him in the ribs. A small chuckle escaped his lips.

“You really wanna know?” 

“Yes. I hate being in the dark, no pun intended.” I throw my chin up to the darkening sky. 

“He said to be gentle with you tonight.” My head turned towards him fast, and he smiled and looked pointedly at my belly. I turned to look back at the path.

“I don’t want you to be gentle.” I said sheepishly looking at him through the corner of my eye. I could see his shoulders stiffen, and his chest puff up a little.

We had reached the door to my cabin.   
“Damn it woman.” Joel grabbed my face between his hands and pulled me into the most intense kiss.


End file.
